Sunday, October 4, 2009

PRAISE -- Never tell a child s/he is "smart"!!!

I just started at discussion on my F-U-N-Training Facebook page -
PRAISE -- Never tell a child s/he is "smart"!!!

Carol Dweck, Ph.D. is the author of "Mindset", and the researcher who discovered that generic praise of intelligence, beauty, etc. actually has a DETRIMENTAL effect on kids. I created and facilitated a workshop for a local church parents group based on "Mindset" and Malcolm Gladwell's, "Outliers". The focus was the importance of EFFORT vs. the fallacy of "genius".

"NurtureShock" is an outstanding new book by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, which is a MUST READ for parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. They cover Dweck's research in Ch. 1: The Inverse Power of Praise, which you can read an excerpt of at NPR (scroll down the page). After you read the excerpt, please take a moment to share your thoughts by commenting via the F-U-N-Training Facebook discussion page & / or commenting below. THANKS in ADVANCE for taking the time to share -- your comments help all of us (parents, teachers, professionals) do a better job helping kids and their families : )

Leah Daziens, www.f-u-n-training.com
and F-U-N-Training & Tutoring at Facebook

Friday, September 11, 2009

START STRONG -- Keys to a Successful School Year

The new school year has begun, and if you want this school year to be the best one yet, here are some ideas:

Routines & Organization


Your child should have a daily routine. Obviously, there are different activities on different days, so each day will be a little bit different, but work together with your child to map out a sample weekly time schedule. Then, each Sunday, sit down together and review the schedule for the week ahead.

Every single day, your child should bring home a completely filled in assignment notebook / agenda. If your child isn't writing down all assignments & / isn't writing them down completely, then you need to ask the teacher(s) to initial the assignment notebook EACH & EVERY DAY. What happens if your child doesn't bring home the assignment notebook / agenda? What if it isn't initialed? That's where a good behavior plan comes in (see below).

At the designated time, your child should be in the designated place (see "Study Environment" below) completing his / her assignments.

When your child finishes the assignments, he / she should show you what was done, then put the assignments in the correct folder(s), the folders / books etc. should go into the backpack, and the backpack should go next to the front door (or other designated place). Also, when you are reviewing assignments, think of a "good boss". A good boss doesn't do your work; you present your work to your boss and ask for clarification when needed. The goal is an independent learner! The parent's role is to facilitate and provide quality inspections -- not to do the work or be a constant hand holder.

How long should homework take? Your child should NOT spend hours on homework!!! RESEARCH consistently shows that 10 minutes per grade level is the rule, so a third grader should spend no more than 30 minutes on homework. This does not mean 30 minutes of whining about doing the homework; it means 30 minutes of focused work. However, your child should take short breaks every 10 - 15 minutes. So, work for 15 minutes, then 3 - 5 minute "movement" break -- your child should get up and wiggle around for a few minutes. Then, 15 minutes more of focused work, then done!

Please note that this time does NOT include reading time. You should spend an additional 20 minutes or so reading together with your child. Take turns reading (alternate paragraphs or pages), since this allows your child to practice both visual and auditory comprehension. It also allows you to identify reading difficulties such as: losing ones place, skipping words, saying the wrong word, etc. Don't stop / correct your child every time he / she makes a mistake; that is very de-motivating for the student. Just make a mental note and go back over the missed words when your child finishes that paragraph / page. If you notice any of the reading difficulties listed above, PLEASE make an appointment to have your child's visual processing skills evaluated ASAP. (I evaluate visual processing skills as part of the comprehensive assessments that I offer, and / or I can refer you to a great developmental optometrist). ASK your child questions at the end of each reader's turn; one of the BEST questions is "what do you think will happen next...why". Another great tool for ALL ages (including adults) is to use AUDIO books (on tape / cd / mp3); the student should read along with the audible book -- not just listen to it. I recommend an mp3 player like iPod that allow you to adjust the speed of the audible reader; that way your child can pick the reading speed closest to their own silent reading speed. You can get audible books through the public library as well as online sources like audible.com.

Besides homework and reading time, try to include as much fun learning as possible. I am a huge fan of non-computer games like Boggle, Muggins, Racko, Bananagrams, Rat a Tat Cat, Quiddler, and many more. Board games provide practice of multiple learning skills: remembering the rules, adding up the score, and many more. I keep a running list of my favorite games, books, etc. HERE.

Nintendo Wii Balance Board -- although I frequently warn parents about too much screen time, I been very impressed with the sensory motor training benefits of the Nintendo Wii Balance Board. I use wooden balance boards with my students in the training lab, and I have been amazed by the speed of progress of those students using a Wii Fit Balance Board at home. So, if you don't have one already, I encourage you to seriously consider it for the next birthday / christmas / gift giving occasion; parents have also told me how much they enjoy playing with the Wii. There are lots of games for the Wii that utilize the Balance Board, and I would love to hear about your favorites.



Behavior Plans

Usually, when I mention implementing a "behavior plan", parents think of "good" and "bad" behavior. However, a behavior plan is just a formalized plan to reinforce behaviors that you want to see more of, e.g. bring home a completely filled out assignment notebook / agenda along w/ needed materials or complete homework without whining, etc.

Personally, I think the "Nothing in Life is Free" method works quite well, and it passes the common sense test. In life, there are things we like to do, and there are things that we need to do (but may not enjoy). So, in order for your child to do the things he / she likes to do, he/she will need to do those "need to" things!

Setting up a token economy is a good way to reinforce desired behaviors, since you can assign values for both the behaviors that you want to reinforce as well as values for the activities that your child likes (rewards). I am a huge fan of activity rewards versus "things". One other VERY important thing is that you must NOT take tokens away once they have been earned. Despite how most of us were raised (and even though WE turned out just fine), research consistently shows that punishment is ineffective -- however, punishment is HIGHLY reinforcing to the punisher. I highly recommend "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers by Amy Sutherland. Disclosure: I have in no way, shape, or form mastered this (as evidenced by dogs' lack of training and my ability to notice every single thing that my husband does wrong :( -- but, it really does work; it's just not how most of us were raised, so we have to break old habits and create new ones.

Take some time to read up on how to set up your behavior plan and token economy: here , here , here.

The most important part of an effective behavior plan (and effective parenting) is CONSISTENCY / CONSISTENCY / CONSISTENCY!!!


Study Environment

This is that "designated place" mentioned above. Your child should have a set place complete w/ all needed supplies materials. While some students work best holed up in their rooms, some students prefer to work closer to the family, e.g. at a kitchen counter or dining room table. Some students need silence and some work well with background music (Mozart / classical -- NOT pop / rock or radio and NO TV). Some students work best standing up and some students need to wiggle while they work, so I recommend adjustable drafting tables and sitting on exercise balls (these tips work for grown ups, too). When trying to memorize math facts / dates or other information -- try using flash cards / note cards and MOVEMENT -- bouncing on a mini-trampoline works quite well. Research also shows that chewing gum helps with focus and concentration, so break out the gum during homework time.


HELP! Please send me your questions, suggestions, etc. I am always looking for new topics and love to hear what's working and what's not working for you in your family's "real world". Thanks in advance for taking a moment to share!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

WASH, WASH, WASH Your Hands -- PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

SOAPBOX (pun alert) #1 NASTY HANDS

EVERYBODY needs to wash, wash, wash those hands!!! Sing the Happy Birthday Song TWICE!

Then, KEEP those HANDS AWAY from your FACE!!!

It is completely appalling to observe the number of adults who DO NOT WASH HANDS after using a public restroom. NASTY! I say, "Call 'Em Out" w/ a VERY LOUD/ "Excuse Me! I THINK YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!!!"

We should all be cleaning our hands properly & frequently THROUGHOUT the day -- remind those around you to wash up properly & frequently, too.

SOAPBOX #2 -- STAY HOME if not 100%!

If you are not 100% healthy, PLEASE STAY HOME!!! If your child is not 100%, please KEEP him or her at HOME!!!

I can't count the number of times I have gotten sick after hearing, "it's not contagious, it's just allergies". If you or your child are coughing or sneezing, you are projecting your mucous into the airspace of others. Our downfall will be the American philosophy that encourages people to go to work and school when sick.

It is just rude and selfish to take the attitude that, "it's just a cold" or "it's just allergies", while spreading illness to others. What you may think of as MILD is STILL CONTAGIOUS, and mild illness can cause SERIOUS problems for those whose immune systems are compromised: elderly, young, cancer patients, etc. Whether it's swine flu, regular flu, a cold, "allergies", just a "bug" or whatever -- KEEP IT AT HOME! DON'T SPREAD IT AROUND! PLEASE!!!

While this current swine flu is mild, it is very important to SLOW the spread of this virus in order to buy time to learn more about it and develop an effective vaccine. The faster it spreads, the more likely it is to mutate and become more virulent and deadly. This doesn't mean we need to panic, but it does mean that each of us must be responsible for doing our part to minimize spreading illness and create social pressure for others to do the same. Our area always has illness and disease circulating: MRSA, Norovirus, Measles, etc. with more exciting outbreaks always developing and threatening. So, practicing pristine hygiene is critical today, tomorrow and for the rest of our lives.

Sorry to preach, but it just makes me beyond angry that people can be so selfish by refusing to wash hands and insisting on going to work / school when ill.

VENT OVER : )

Monday, February 23, 2009

Wait & See Now = MORE TIME & MONEY LATER

A newsletter from Ann Dolin linked to a great article at ReadingRockets.org, "Waiting Rarely Works: Late Bloomers Usually Just Wilt". During my teacher training in college and the classroom, it was repeatedly emphasized that "kids learn at different speeds" and "one day things will just click". Sadly, many of my clients are the victims of the "late bloomer" fallacy and have suffered the consequences:
  • students getting further and further behind
  • students suffering emotionally - anxiety & frustration about learning struggles leads to depression, "shutting down", acting out, and other behavioral / emotional problems
  • all family members and relationships suffer due to homework battles, unsatisfactory grades, poor behavior, etc.
Although it is never to late to get help, research and common sense show time and again that EARLY intervention is key. The sooner a child receives help, the better.

Think of an onion... every time a child associates a negative experience with learning, the pattern gets stronger, creating layer upon layer of negative associations and coping behaviors. When parents and students are referred to me, we all work together to peel away those "negative" layers by:
  • identifying the root cause(s) of learning difficulties through comprehensive assessments
  • showing the student the beauty of neuroplasticity, the importance of training the brain to make new connections and making those connections more efficient through continued practice.
  • training up weak skills to increase learning efficiency
  • working with teachers, parents, and student to reduce stress & anxiety while increasing postive learning experiences.
Please do your part to eliminate the "late bloomer" fallacy. Problems that aren't dealt with bloom & grow -- like an invasive weed.

Also, realize that different students will hit learning stumbling blocks at different points depending on the individual's skill strengths and weaknesses. For example, a student who has very strong visual memory can "regurgitate" information quite well, so this student will do great until school demands more advanced applications of information learned. Students who hit learning stumbling blocks later may actually suffer MORE, since parents and teachers may assume the student "just isn't working hard enough" or "just needs to study more". So, whether learning struggles happen in Kindergarten, 3rd, 4th, middle school, high school, or college -- seek immediate professional help! Difficulties during transition years in middle and high school are often dismissed, but a poor transition year usually leads to continuing problems.

Lastly, don't UNDERESTIMATE your child's learning potential -- each child has great gifts, and training up weaker skills enables a child to harness those gifts. We all suffer when a child with "A" potential is labeled as a "C Average"!

***REMEMBER: Taking the "wait and see" approach now means spending more time and money to remedy problems later -- not to mention the emotional damage. Don't wait to get help!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

TAX DEDUCTIBLE TUTORING?

Please note that I am NOT a tax professional, and you will need to consult one to determine if tutoring and other learning related expenses are deductible. However,

I highly recommend that you take a look at this guide to 2008 Tax Benefits for Parents

According to the tax attorney authors:
The following expenses may qualify for the deduction if a medical professional recommends the service or treatment for the child and there is a medical diagnosis of a neurological disorder, such as a severe learning disability:

* Tuition for a private school
* Tutoring
* Specialized materials (e.g., books, software and instructional materials)
* Diagnostic evaluations (by a private practitioner)
* Therapy
* Transportation expenses for a private school or tutor

The guide covers:
Tax Benefits: Deductions vs. Credits
Retroactive Claims for Refunds
Medical Expense Deductions
Health Savings Accounts and Flexible Savings Arrangements
Deduction for Disability-Related Conferences
Child and Dependent Care Credit
Exemption for Dependents
Earned Income Tax Credit
Where to Get More Information
Tax Counseling and Tax Preparation Assistance
Disputes With the IRS

Please note that "SEVERE learning disability" does NOT seem to be clearly defined as the online article Tracking ADHD Medical Expenses: How to organize medical invoices and insurance paperwork and save a little, too. by Patricia Quinn, M.D. at Additude Magazine's website states:

"Tutoring services prescribed by a physician can also be considered a medical deduction."

So, definitely review both the 2008 Tax Guide for Parents as well as the article on Tracking ADHD Medical Expenses!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

VISION THERAPY SCORES AGAIN on NPR: Cardinals' Fitzgerald 'Eyes' Super Bowl Victory

Yet another example of the benefits of training the vision system...

Cardinals' Fitzgerald 'Eyes' Super Bowl Victory by Mike Pesca

Listen Now @ http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100049694

Morning Edition, January 30, 2009 · When the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals meet Sunday in the Super Bowl, one player to watch is Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald. His optometrist grandfather gave Fitzgerald unique vision training that has helped him on the football field.

It is a tragedy that, despite its proven effectiveness, vision therapy / training is still disparaged by pediatricians and ophthalmologists. Learn more about VISION THERAPY at the Optometric Extension Program Foundation, http://www.oepf.org/Patients&ParentsHome.php and ASK ME about the benefits of VISION TRAINING!

THIS WED, 2/4 - DON'T MISS From Chaos To Calm: Structuring for Success in the Home by Sharon Weiss

I just found out about this wonderful Parent Link Seminar Series, so I wanted to share! Sharon Weiss' presentations are engaging and informative, so I hope you'll be there THIS WEDNESDAY, 2/4. -- Leah ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Chaos to Calm:
Structuring for
Success in the Home

by Sharon Weiss

DATE: Wednesday, February 4th

TIME: 7-9pm

LOCATION:
Flint Hill School's
Olson Theatre
10409 Academic Drive
Oakton, VA

MORE:
Everyone wants a
household that runs smoothly.
It's real life that
gets in the way!
What you need to know to:

* establish structure,
build routines, and change negative behavior
* enable your child to
get through daily activities without relying on adult support
* change the family
dynamic of nagging and yelling
*keep the day in gear -
moving from breakfast to bedtime

Please note that there is a
$25 fee at the door to attend.
Register in advance for multiple speakers and receive a discount!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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F-U-N-Training offers comprehensive tutoring & parent support Visit my website for FREE PARENT TIPS, TOOLS, & RESOURCES:
www.f-u-n-training.com